{"id":2198,"date":"2023-10-04T11:36:55","date_gmt":"2023-10-04T11:36:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/?p=2198"},"modified":"2024-07-03T12:56:00","modified_gmt":"2024-07-03T12:56:00","slug":"self-threat-compensation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/self-threat-compensation\/","title":{"rendered":"Self Threat &amp; Compensation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\">(Image <a href=\"http:\/\/self threat and compensation - alexander-grey-WxOZNy7SPkA-unsplash\">credit<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This principle is not a complicated one. It says that threats to our sense of self tend to cause strong emotional reactions and a motivation to address the threat &#8211; either by solving it, or by compensating (finding other ways to prop up our sense of self).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This observation (like many in social sciences) sounds obvious when it is described clearly (&#8220;well gee, I thought people who felt threatened would enjoy it, who knew&#8221;), but there are a few things about it that aren&#8217;t so obvious to most people. These include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Spotting as it happens in real life. \n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>People with excellent social skills can get good at detecting it, but it&#8217;s common for us to be confused by what appears to be irrational or erratic behaviour &#8211; or not to notice it at all.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Does every bad thing that happens threaten our sense of self#up? Only some of them? <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How exactly do people go about feeling better? <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Obligatory reference: A clip from 90's comedy show the <a data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GYagjnVrx1E\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GYagjnVrx1E\">Simpsons<\/a>, mocking psychologists idea of what self-threats look like<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The single most useful thing that this page could deliver would be a good tutorial for point one. Unfortunately, this is a Consumer Behaviour textbook so that is not part of our remit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But we can talk about points 2 and 3 (and maybe that would even help a little with point 1 too). So let&#8217;s dive in! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What threatens our sense of self?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tell me (your author) that I&#8217;m unathletic, and I will just agree with you. Tell me that I could dress better and that I fall short of movie star good looks, and I will nod (maybe a little wistfully). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But tell me that I&#8217;m not very good at CB, or that I&#8217;m a poor parent to my children, and then I will probably have much darker feelings, that lead to darker places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All of these would be negative critiques of me, but I&#8217;d only find some of them upsetting &#8211; and this is how most of us are. Of course, it will vary widely from person to person which particular things hurt and which don&#8217;t: some people will be upset if they perceive their appearance or physical prowess was attacked, and others won&#8217;t be bothered by those same things nearly so much (free life advice: be careful what critical things you say to whom). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js interest\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21980\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">But don&#8217;t you sometimes have to tell people harsh truths?<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21980\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes you do have to give people negative feedback, yes &#8211; as a boss, a teacher, or even as a friend (&#8220;Oh my goodness, you can&#8217;t wear that to the party&#8221;). But how do you do this without upsetting the other person more than is necessary?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This isn&#8217;t relevant to our current chapter, but for those who find such things interesting:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Partly the way people react to such critiques depends on whether that topic happens to be personally sensitive for them (we&#8217;ll talk about that a lot further down this page), but also it partly depends on the norms of their culture. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, if you tell someone that they are being an idiot, and you do this in Holland or Israel, they are likely to interpret this as a task-focused suggestion (&#8220;Maybe you&#8217;re right, I could be wrong about that&#8221;). If you say the same thing in North America, your intent is likely to be interpreted as hostile. North American cultural norms expect you to manage the other person&#8217;s feelings by framing negative feedback as constructive criticism (e.g., saying: &#8220;Well that&#8217;s a good idea, and I can see where you are coming from, but perhaps you might also want to consider doing X instead?&#8221;). Someone who is used to North American communication cultures is likely to interpret being they&#8217;re an idiot through this frame, and interpret your intended meaning as: &#8220;I dislike you so much that I&#8217;m not even bothering to hide my contempt&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As you can imagine, communication across cultural divides can lead to big misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It&#8217;s a good idea to keep an open mind when you talk to people from cultures with which you are not familiar and to seek guidance from cultural insiders when you do speak across groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People who move between cultures can sometimes become quite good at &#8216;code-switching&#8217; between different communication norms. An example comes from your author&#8217;s former advisor, Ziva Kunda. Ziva was a bi-cultural Israeli-Canadian, and she recounted a conversation that she once had with a prominent Israeli-American colleague. They started out speaking in Hebrew before switching to English. Eventually one of them replied to the other, saying: &#8220;That&#8217;s a load of s***. Oh, sorry, I forgot we switched to English!&#8221;. Switching languages was (at least to them) a cue to switch which cultural rules they were using to express simple disagreement vs. a personal attack.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why do we differ so much in which things will upset us? There are a couple of ways of thinking about this. We will cover three of these, ordering them from the ones with the narrowest to the widest ideas about what threatens us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is upsetting? Theory 1: Symbolic Self-completion Theory<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is not a coincidence that the name of this theory sounds a lot like our &#8220;self-symbolizing Theory&#8221;. As you recall, the first step of self-symbolizing theory was &#8220;things can be symbols&#8221;, and the third was these symbols can make pictures of ourselves in our heads feel more or less real. This theory adds a simple twist: People are motivated to strive for these symbols when this picture in their head doesn&#8217;t feel real enough <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-NEYDGMNG-_-4193465-XHPMG2TJ--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:NEYDGMNG},{4193465:XHPMG2TJ}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. If we feel an important version of our self is lacking, then we are motivated to look for symbols we could acquire that will complete this self (hence the name: symbolic self-completion).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For instance, imagine that you go to a Tennis club, and you see a lot of people playing there.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"310\" height=\"650\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-player-casual-pexels-florian-doppler-3818835.jpg\" alt=\"Man playing Tennis. He's wearing a light red t-shirt, black Adidas shorts, and red running shoes, and is about to hit a ball that he has thrown in the air\" class=\"wp-image-2382\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-player-casual-pexels-florian-doppler-3818835.jpg 310w, https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-player-casual-pexels-florian-doppler-3818835-143x300.jpg 143w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 310px) 100vw, 310px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Here it comes (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/photo-of-man-playing-tennis-3818835\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/photo-of-man-playing-tennis-3818835\/\">credit<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And among the players is one who has all the gear. The white shirt, the high-tech racket, the sweatbands, the actual tennis shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"487\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-s-iStock-1326041829-1.jpg\" alt=\"Man playing Tennis. He has white shirt and shorts, white wristbands, white socks, and white tennis shoes. He is seen from above, in the process of running and preparing to swing at a ball\" class=\"wp-image-2384\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-s-iStock-1326041829-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/tennis-s-iStock-1326041829-1-300x244.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Ball go thwack (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.istockphoto.com\/photo\/tennis-gm1326041829-410869397\">credit<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This last player &#8211; the one with all the stuff &#8211; are they more likely a beginner who is setting out, or a veteran of the sport?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do you think?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to Braun and Wicklund <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-K2GV6HKR--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:K2GV6HKR}', 'format': '(%d%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span> they are more likely to be the beginner. They did a study which found that across several different areas (sports, law, and business) it was the people who were lower in experience and expertise who were buying and using possessions which they perceived to be high-status symbols associated with that domain. It was the new tennis players and lawyers and executives, who weren&#8217;t confident that they really knew what they were doing, and maybe didn&#8217;t fit quite in, who were buying the fancy shoes, the leather suitcases, the expensive cuff-links. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Presumably, they felt that by dressing up with this stuff, they could fill in a little of this confidence, make their sporting or lawyering self feel more real to themselves, and allay some of the nagging anxiety that this wasn&#8217;t quite really who they actually were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is upsetting? Theory 2: Contingencies of self-esteem<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This theory starts with a tacit recognition that we, as humans, don&#8217;t have the time and energy to do everything well all the time. Instead, we tend to pick some areas to invest ourselves into, and then we can let the others slide down our own internal priority list. But these areas that we invest in, we mentally tie them to our self-concept, so that they become an important part of our image of who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This does a few things. One is that it keeps them more chronically accessible in our minds, which helps us pay more consistent attention to them. Another perhaps more important thing is that it makes us routinely evaluate how well we are doing in these areas, and to care about the answer. In this way, investing ourselves into these areas is a bit like investing in the stock market: you can gain, and you can lose. That puts some real motivational force behind our performance in these areas: Don&#8217;t want to feel bad about yourself? Better work hard on these things, then <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-ANE8PX9Y-_-4193465-DDCYHML4--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:ANE8PX9Y},{4193465:DDCYHML4}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is what gives theory its name: The esteem that we grant to ourselves (our &#8220;self-esteem&#8221; if you will) becomes contingent#up on our performance in these chosen areas.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. The relevant <a data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/contingent\" href=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/contingent\">dictionary definition<\/a> of contingent: \"Depending on something else in the future in order to happen\", with an example being \"The contract is contingent on approval by the Board of Trustees.\"<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Granting things this power to make us feel bad about ourselves can cut two ways, though. It can motivate us in useful ways to make a real effort and do a good job. But it can also have the perverse effect of making us fragile &#8211; sometimes we just want to feel better and find destructive ways to prop up our self-esteem. Maybe we belittle other people, or cheat to win at a game. Psychologists see self-esteem as having a potential dark side. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recall the example we started with above, where I confessed to caring about my CB skills, but not so much my athleticism. This was very much a contingency of self-esteem account. I was taking the long way of saying that my self-esteem is contingent on CB but not my ability to run fast or do anything that resembles gymnastics. It bothers me if I fail at CB, but not so much those other things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js interest\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21981\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">You&#8217;re going to tell me that William James wrote about this in 1890 too, aren&#8217;t you&#8230;<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21981\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Darn straight he did. And in his own colourful style, too#up<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Some academics feel they must write in dry and abstract ways in order to successfully play the role of a serious thinker. This, arguably, is a form of symbolically completion for their academic persona. James clearly did not feel the need to do this at all, suggesting that maybe he felt secure in his position.<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He starts with an observation about how a person has to pick one or two of their many possible selves to focus on if they want any hope of success:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;Not that I would not, if I could, be both handsome and fat and well dressed, and a great athlete, and make a million a year, be a wit, a bon-vivant, and a lady-killer [editor note: For those not familiar with this old expression, <a href=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/lady-killer\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/lady-killer\">it refers to <\/a>&#8220;a sexually attractive man who has sexual relationships with many women&#8221;], as well as a philosopher; a philanthropist, statesman, warrior, and African explorer, as well as a \u2018 tone-poet\u2019 and saint. But the thing is simply impossible. The millionaire\u2019s work would run counter to the saint\u2019s; the bon-vivant and the philanthropist would trip each other up; the philosopher and the lady-killer could not well keep house in the same tenement of clay. Such different characters may conceivably at the outset of life be alike possible to a man. But to make any one of them actual, the rest must more or less be suppressed&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I, who for the time have staked my all on being a psychologist, am mortified if others know much more psychology than I. But I am contented to wallow in the grossest ignorance of Greek. My deficiencies there give me no sense of personal humiliation at all. Had I &#8216;pretensions\u2019 to be a linguist, it would have been just the reverse. So we have the paradox of a man shamed to death because he is only the second pugilist [boxer] or the second oarsman [rower] in the world. That he is able to beat the whole population of the globe minus one is nothing; he has \u2018pitted\u2019 himself to beat that one; and as long as he doesn\u2019t do that nothing else counts&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yonder puny fellow, however, whom every one can beat, suffers no chagrin about it, for he has long ago abandoned the attempt to \u2018carry that line,\u2019 as the merchants say, of self at all. With no attempt there can be no failure; with no failure no humiliation. So our self-feeling in this world depends entirely on what we back ourselves to be and do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<cite><span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-U9YG3HUL--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': '309-310', 'items': '{4193465:U9YG3HUL}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He goes on to note that you can then be happier with yourself either by succeeding more, or by setting your expectations lower (&#8220;How pleasant is the day when we give up striving to be young, &#8211;or slender! Thank God! we say, those illusions are gone. Everything added to the Self is a burden as well as a pride. A certain man who lost every penny during our civil war went and actually rolled in the dust, saying he had not felt so free and happy since he was born.&#8221; p. 311).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what kinds of things do people make their self-exteem contingent on? It varies a lot from person to person, but some things are more common than others. Surveys suggest that common ones for American university students include academics, their appearance, approval from others, competition, family support, God&#8217;s love, and their virtue <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-ARYHUQKX--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:ARYHUQKX}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. So some students feel good about theirselves when they are doing well in school and badly when they aren&#8217;t, and some of them feel good when they get support from their parents or siblings (and presumably bad if they are fighting with these people), and some feel good when they are acting in a morrally &#8216;right&#8217; way (maybe being helpful and honest, volunteering, etc) and bad when they find themselves cutting corners by cheating at things. Some students will care about several of those, and some very few.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js understand\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21982\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">There have to be contingencies that don&#8217;t appear on that list, right<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21982\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, many!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was trying to illustrate this to a class once by pointing out that my students might feel much more offended if someone was being rude about their own university, or major than a different one (&#8220;marketers are so fake, they just want to trick you into buying stuff you don&#8217;t need to make a buck&#8221;). This example worked for many of the students, but one student came down and challenged me that he didn&#8217;t care about any of this stuff. He seemed mystified that people would be so delicate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I asked what it was that he did care about, and he proudly announced that he was an anarchist. &#8220;Ah,&#8221; I said &#8220;anarchists are lazy disorganized people who just sponge off everyone else&#8217;s effort&#8221;#up. A vein bulged in his forehead: &#8220;woha, that&#8217;s enough!&#8221; he said. It turns out that he wasn&#8217;t any less delicate than the rest of us, his self-esteem was just contingent on different things.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. For the removal of any doubt, I wasn't sincerely attacking him, and he knew this - I was just showing that he, too, had buttons that could be pushed. Anarchists are actulaly often quite nice people; you have to be fairly optimistic about humanity to believe that we'd all get along nicely if only someone took away all the rules <\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of the various common contingencies that Jennifer Crocker and her colleagues list, &#8220;God&#8217;s love&#8221; seems to have a slightly special status as often being more stable than the others. This makes sense if you think about it: Your professors, parents, friends, bosses, grades, bank account, and marathon times all have their own pointed ways of telling you that you aren&#8217;t succeeding at some given moment. But God, according to the most popular notions, always loves you, even when you do wrong#up. There&#8217;s probably some wisdom in making part of your self-esteem contingent on something that you can&#8217;t really fail at.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Even people who believe in vengeful and judgmental dieties tend to believe that these higher powers get upset with things that you think or do, rather than with who you are. That always leaves you an open door with which to \"get right\"<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js understand\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21983\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">Can I get one last quick example?<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21983\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How about going a little deeper into one of our existing examples?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Part of the job for professors is sending your work to journals, who return back to you anonymous &#8220;peer reviews&#8221; written by colleagues in your field. These reviews generally do their best to tear your work to shreds, listing every possible flaw, big and small. They can get very creative in coming up with potential flaws. This isn&#8217;t because the reviewers are mean people, the idea is that work gets stronger when it faces robust challenges and scrutiny#up.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Sometimes it does get better, sometimes it doesn't, but that's the idea!<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We know several prominent scientists, near the top of their fields, who don&#8217;t open these reviews immediately when they receive them, but wait a week or two first, and then read them only a little at a time. It&#8217;s not that these people don&#8217;t believe in the review process, or that their work is immune to criticism &#8211; they write reviews themselves that are just as tough. But they find it emotionally difficult to cope with the critiques they receive precisely <strong>because <\/strong>they are so invested in their area of endeavour. That makes any indication that they may not be doing well at it feel extra painful.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is upsetting? Theory 3: Amoebic self theory<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our first theory was simple:  People try to use symbolic consumption to try to correct for when roles don&#8217;t feel &#8216;real&#8217; enough to them yet. Our second one was along similar lines: We pick a couple of roles or outcomes to care about, and then we feel good about ourselves when they go well, and bad when they don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Our third paints a slightly more layered picture. It imagines humans as having a series of three boundaries, and we get uncomfortable when they are pierced. The analogy here is to an amoeba: These are single-celled organisms that have membranes which divide their insides from the outside world. This boundary between itself and the world is key to its survival challenges: a) engulf food in, b) excrete waste out, and c) keep predators, parasites, and other threats very firmly on the outer side of it.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"172\" height=\"182\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/amoeba-crop-6595804055_4c33a9d613_b.jpg\" alt=\"Diagram of an amoeba. There is a black circle for its membrane, a black dot inside that is its nucleus, and a cluster of smaller dots that represents its various inner workings\" class=\"wp-image-2391\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">An amoeba (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/73025637@N02\/6595804055\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/73025637@N02\/6595804055\">credit<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Amoebic self theory argues that humans have similar survival challenges, except that our behaviour is so much more sophisticated than the amoeba that we have added extra layers that are key to our survival <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-TWX6DWD3--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:TWX6DWD3}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundary 1 is our body. We need to keep predators, parasites, poisons, and contaminants on the outside of our skin, not the inside. We feel threat and disgust from even imagining dirt in our mouths, or claws and needles sticking through our skin. The very idea of chewing on rotten meat makes us queasy. We don&#8217;t even like to be near contaminating things that could potentially make us ill, such as spilt puddles of blood or urine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundary 2 is a social one. Our survival depends on knowing who our friends and enemies are, and keeping the one set close, defended, and safe, and the other set at a safe distance &#8211; perhaps somewhat close, but never <strong>too <\/strong>close that they can get inside our self-boundaries. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Note: You can be forgiven for seeing elements of self-expansion theory in this: we include close others in the self, but then also insist on being choosy about who is included within this boundary (and for very good reasons too!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundary 3 is a spatial-symbolic one. Our survival depends on using objects, territory, and even abstract rules (such as &#8220;fairness&#8221; and &#8220;theft&#8221;) in clever ways. We need to be vigilant against these things being pierced. A rat or a snake in our house disgusts us because it contaminates the spatial element of our self. The idea of someone getting away with stealing things, or punching people with impunity is offensive to the symbolic part of our self-boundary; If these things are allowed to happen, then we will know we are unsafe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Note: On this component, you can be forgiven for seeing parallels with the self-symbolic theory. Both rely on very similar insights about how humans use symbolism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Amoebic self theory is less well-known than the other two we discussed, but there does seem to be a fair bit of intriguing evidence backing it up <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-BGUK2YPM-_-4193465-CII7RZ73--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:BGUK2YPM},{4193465:CII7RZ73}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let&#8217;s have a few quick examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Example 1: The &#8216;Crotch&#8217; show<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First, remember our introductory mystery for this chapter showed a clip from Keith Hennessy\u2019s show &#8216;crotch&#8217;. At the point we caught up with the show, Kieth was sitting on stage, in front of a live audience who had paid to be there. He was nude (except for some tactically placed shaving foam on his crotch), and he was passing (sanitized!) needles, pulling red thread, through his skin. He would pass these to audience members, and invite them to push the threaded needles through their own clothes. Most people&#8217;s reaction to watching this video is to become rather uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">His performance is almost a perfect storm that cuts through all three of our self-boundaries. We get uncomfortable even just watching someone pass needles through their skin because it reminds us of bodily boundary violations &#8211; we almost can&#8217;t help but imagine it happening to our own skin, and this image is vivid enough that we get a bit nervous. It crosses several of our customary social boundaries when he sits, almost entirely naked, and closely surrounded by audience members (some of whom have moved to sit around him on the stage). Our culture would normally class his state of undress as suitable for only very personal and intimate things, yet there he is, naked and unconcerned, with strangers clustered all around. We can almost feel this twisting and straining of our social boundaries. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Finally, he passes thread that is the colour of blood through his skin, and invites audience members to pass it through their own clothes, loosely sewing themselves all together&#8230; Even though it goes through the audience member&#8217;s clothes, not their skin, our clothing still feels like it is symbolically connected to our very selves. This sewing, then, creates a strong symbolic link between him and the audience member. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It may help to try to visualize doing this yourself &#8211; picture this as vividly as you can: accepting a sewing needle from a nearly naked stranger who is sitting in front of you. The needle has a red thread hanging through it, that is freshly woven through the skin between his thumb and first finger. It emerges from a fresh hole there, in his hand, where it has just been pushed through. This red thread that now trails through the inside of his body, and is still connected to a (carefully cleaned!) needle, which you have taken. You pinch the fabric of your shirt and push the needle&#8217;s point right through, tugging it out the other side. As you do that you can feel the tug of the red thread, pulling part of your own sleeve against your own arm&#8230; Now, how are you feeling? On an emotional level? This is what it is like having your symbolic boundaries pierced, even if it is just in a voluntary and playful way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Example 2: The most loyalty in the whole store<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your humble author has a friend who worked for decades trawling through sales data for many prominent supermarket chains so he can advise them on stocking decisions. He reports that their data usually shows two products that have greater consumer loyalty than any others. These are the two products for which consumers almost never switch brands, but simply buy the same ones over and over. Can you guess what they are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The answer is: ketchup and feminine hygiene products. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With ketchup, you can even give people a side-by-side taste test of their preferred brands vs. an alternate, show them that they prefer the taste of the alternate, and if you ask them whether they are now going to consider switching they give you a hard &#8216;no&#8217;. The immediate evidence of their own sense of taste isn&#8217;t enough to shift them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is admittedly somewhat speculative, but amoebic self theory wouldn&#8217;t be surprised that one looks a lot like blood, and the other&#8217;s function is closely tied to blood. There we have to manage a little frisson of disgust, hovering just on the edge of consciousness. If we can get squeamish just imagining blood dripping on the floor, why might these not trigger some of that same reaction &#8211; not enough that we are actively grossed out, but perhaps enough that we find just a little extra distaste at the idea of switching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps you are nodding along that this sounds plausible, or perhaps you just sprained your eyeball from rolling it so hard. It does indeed sound rather outlandish. But tell us this: can you think of any better reason why it would be those two particular items that command such loyalty?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We can&#8217;t either#up.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. This obviously isn't scientific proof, but it does make you say \"hmmm\"...<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Example 3: One of the most famous marketing stories ever<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the early 1980&#8217;s Coke were losing market share to Pepsi. It was so bad that they were starting to worry that they would lose their claim to be the most-bought drink. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recall from our perception chapter that people narrowly preferred Pepsi to Coke in blind taste tests? Coke executives knew this too, and they had had enough. They ordered their food scientists to make a better tasting coke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Their food nerds started with Diet Coke (which was new then, but already popular, and scored well on blind taste-tests). They replaced its artificial sweeteners with sugar, and then tinkered systematically with the formula until they had found a new, fully optimized, better-tasting Coke &#8211; one that really did beat Pepsi head-to-head in blind tests. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your author has talked to a marketing academic who works in Georgia (where Coke is headquartered) who knew people on the development team. He reports that their science was impeccable. They did double-blind experimental testing that confirmed that people preferred the new formula in every respect, across every dimension of taste they could think of &#8211; even its smell. The scientists delivered on their challenge, and so it passed to the marketers to bring this product out with a blitz and make it the success that it should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They launched it in April of 1985 with big marketing fanfare as their new upgrade for Coke. It was new! It was improved! It was better! And because they had tested it so carefully, they knew that this wasn&#8217;t just marketing hype. Naturally, the public loved it, and Coke sales jumped.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"158\" height=\"307\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/New_Coke_can.jpg\" alt=\"A can of New Coke (it looks like a normal red Coke can, with its curled white stripe accent, except &quot;Coke&quot; is written in a modern computer style font, and there is a little banner printed across the top saying &quot;NEW!&quot;\" class=\"wp-image-2392\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/New_Coke_can.jpg 158w, https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/10\/New_Coke_can-154x300.jpg 154w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 158px) 100vw, 158px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">What&#8217;s not to love? (<a data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/New_Coke#\/media\/File:New_Coke_can.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/New_Coke#\/media\/File:New_Coke_can.jpg\">credit<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is all true &#8211; there was only one problem: it didn&#8217;t stay true for very long. Sales did go up initially, just as they logically should have done&#8230; but a noisy segment of their consumers hated the change, and they got louder and louder. This segment&#8217;s feelings weren&#8217;t visible in blind taste tests, but did show up in some of their focus groups (they found 10-15% of participants were quite grumpy about the change). But this was the 1980&#8217;s, and Coke&#8217;s scientists and executives knew that when it came to testing for truth value, surveys and experiments were much more rigorous methodologies than mere qualitative focus groups, with their messy social dynamics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But it turns out that the real world is also full of messy social dynamics, and the people who objected to New Coke wound each other up more and more, and started dragging bigger chunks of the rest of the population along with them. The backlash grew so fast, that a mere 79 days after New Coke&#8217;s launch the company buckled and returned the original formula to market under the new name &#8220;Coke Classic&#8221;. They continued to sell New Coke alongside Coke Classic, but very few people drank it, and it eventually ended up quietly being withdrawn from the market a few years later, despite its &#8216;objectively&#8217; better taste#up.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. One shouldn't depend on Wikipedia for serious research, but they do have a good <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/New_Coke#cite_note-Snopes-2\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/New_Coke#cite_note-Snopes-2\">rundown <\/a>of how this all unfolded (for instance why replace old Coke instead of offering it as an alternative? They had reasons)<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what went wrong? The objection seems to have been less that people didn&#8217;t like New Coke, and more that they hated having their old Coke taken away. But why would that matter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It makes perfect sense through an amoebic-self framework. There was a small audience of heavy Coke drinkers, and they had absorbed Coke into their selves. When it was taken away, this was a huge threat to their spatial-symbolic self: they were having part of themselves ripped out, and that violation of the integrity of their symbolic boundary caused them to respond with pain and anger #up.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. A conspiracy theory soon started floating around that Coke did this whole take-it-away-then-give-it-back move on purpose, to draw attention to Coke's claim on people's hearts. This theory was refuted by none other than Coke's President (at the time) David&nbsp;Keough, who famously <a href=\"https:\/\/www.snopes.com\/fact-check\/new-coke-fiasco\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.snopes.com\/fact-check\/new-coke-fiasco\/\">said<\/a>: \"The truth is we are not that dumb, and we are not that smart.\"<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js interest\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21984\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">Is this really as simple as qualitative research working better than quantitative?<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21984\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your author&#8217;s colleague from Georgia claims that the one thing Coke didn&#8217;t measure in their testing was &#8220;emotional resonance&#8221; &#8211; that is, how people would feel emotionally about a new formula. Had they done that, then perhaps they detect the potential for anger and rebellion in their hardcore fans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the lessons in this is that quantitative research can be very useful and powerful, but only if you ask exactly the right questions, to the right people, in the right way. In some sense, all research, then, is ultimately informed by a qualitative understanding, even if some quantitative researchers don&#8217;t wish to believe this.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"coping\">How do people recover?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So you are feeling upset at a violation of some important part of your self. What now? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mandel et. al. <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-SSXQZXRN--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:SSXQZXRN}', 'format': '(%d%,)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span> argue that what happens next is that we feel some rather negative emotions, and then we look for ways to solve them. They further suggest that people tend to choose from a range of CB options:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Direct resolution<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Symbolic self-completion<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Dissociation<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Escapism<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fluid compensation<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Option 0: Avoid having to compensate at all  <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before we get to Mandel&#8217;s options, there is one very simple thing that people do: Engage in motivated reasoning to recast the situation so that it doesn&#8217;t look like a problem anymore <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-E3QG77CD--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:E3QG77CD}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;Sure I failed the test, but it&#8217;s not my fault! The test was just set way too hard (that teacher really has it in for me!)&#8221;. All that took was one little mental twist, and the facts might not have changed, but the interpretation did &#8211; and in the direction of letting me off the hook! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We do this sort of thing a lot: &#8220;Yes, my friend is angry with me, but that&#8217;s not my fault either; They&#8217;re just in a bad mood (let me think of all the times they got annoyed over tiny things)!&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, our reasoning is constrained by the available evidence <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-ZXEBDALY--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:ZXEBDALY}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. I may be able to search my memory for all the times my friend got angry over nothing, but if they tell me that they are angry that I stole their test answers, and I do indeed have photos of their test responses on my phone, then it does make it hard for me to tweak this into being their fault#up.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Unless my identity is very strongly set against believing this, in which case people can twist their understandings to extraordinary lengths (\"what sort of terrible friend wouldn't want to help me on the test? And their answers were bad too, the jerk!\"), and can become entirely immune to contradictory evidence (there's a great <a data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/magazine\/2017\/02\/27\/why-facts-dont-change-our-minds\" href=\"https:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/magazine\/2017\/02\/27\/why-facts-dont-change-our-minds\">New Yorker article<\/a> about this)<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js interest\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21985\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">Ha ha, that&#8217;s crazy. I don&#8217;t do that!<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21985\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A quick question: If you had to pick your favourite letter of the alphabet, what would it be? Yes, we realize you probably don&#8217;t have strong feelings about this, but if you absolutely <strong>had<\/strong> to pick one? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chosen it yet?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Good work. Now, does that letter happen to be your first or last initial? When we ask our classes, about 50% of them raise their hand that it is. There are 26 letters in the alphabet, so if people were picking completely at random they&#8217;d only have about an 8% chance of landing on one of those two letters. But if you ask people &#8220;did you choose that as your favourite letter because of your name&#8221;, most people say no, it had nothing to do with that. So maybe we like ourselves, and let this influence our judgments more than we care to admit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here is another question: Are you an above-average driver? Nearly everybody believes that they are, but if you think about what &#8220;average&#8221; means, then by definition half of the population is above average at a given thing, and half the population is below average#up. That means that probably 45% of the population are below-average drivers who believe themselves to be above average (and there&#8217;s a coin-flip chance that this includes you). But none of those people realize that they are searching for definitions of &#8220;good at driving&#8221; that favour whatever style they happen to lean towards<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down Technically there are a few unusual circumstances in which more than 50% of people really can be above average, but these involve using a certain way of calculating averages over a distribution of people that has a pretty unusual shape; Driving skill is almost certainly not one of those exceptions<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Options 1 &amp; 2: Try to solve the problem (direct resolution &amp; symbolic self-completion)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mandel et. al. suggest that the first thing you can do with a problem is to try to address it directly. If you feel you aren&#8217;t smart enough, you can buy an educational book, or perhaps enrol in a course. If you feel you aren&#8217;t athletic enough you could buy free weights or a yoga mat and start working out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Failing this, you can engage in symbolic self-completion: Buy things that symbolically affirm that we indeed have the traits we were worried about. Perhaps we could frame our university diploma on the wall to help us feel smarter. We could take photos of ourselves in flattering poses and angles (maybe even with a filter) to document that we are in reasonable shape. Maybe we buy the same tennis shoes as the latest winner of Wimbledon (it worked for them, so what might it do for my game?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These line up fairly well with what other researchers who look at coping have called &#8220;active&#8221; strategies &#8211; trying to deal with one&#8217;s troubles by taking actions, or improving one&#8217;s ways of thinking to resolve the problem <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-RDJFWU2F--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:RDJFWU2F}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. It&#8217;s always reassuring when people who are looking at similar things, but in different contexts, find answers that &#8216;triangulate&#8217; on similar ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Options 3 &amp; 4: Run away (dissociation &amp; escapism)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of tackling our unhappiness with who we feel we are directly, we can try to find various strategies of &#8220;compensation&#8221; &#8211; solutions to our pain other than direct solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mandel et. al. describe two ways this can happen. One is dissociation in which you look for consumption that does not involve the threatened self#up. For example, in one study women who have low collective self-esteem (i.e., who do not feel good about being female) tended to avoid gendered magazines like Cosmopolitan, in favour of neutral ones like US magazine <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-64NIU9FI--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:64NIU9FI}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Escapism dials this idea another level higher: Here people look for things that are so psychologically engaging that they are distracted from their worries. This is where your tubs of ice cream, your sky diving, and perhaps your retail therapy come in (we&#8217;ll talk more about that last one in our emotions chapter).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These strategies are consistent with what scholars of coping call avoidance strategies <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-RDJFWU2F--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:RDJFWU2F}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span> &#8211; so again, these lines of research literature line up in reassuring ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-pb-accordion-item c-accordion__item js-accordion-item no-js\" data-initially-open=\"false\" data-click-to-close=\"true\" data-auto-close=\"true\" data-scroll=\"false\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\"><h5 id=\"at-21986\" class=\"c-accordion__title js-accordion-controller\" role=\"button\">I&#8217;ve read the first page of Mandel, and that&#8217;s not how they define compensation<\/h5><div id=\"ac-21986\" class=\"c-accordion__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First of all, well done for looking at articles! It warms our cold shrivelled academic hearts to see people do this. Yay! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Second, you are right. Mandel defines compensation as ways of reducing self-discrepancies (i.e., between actual and ideal selves), so they include direct solutions to the problem as &#8220;compensation&#8221;. That&#8217;s not the <a href=\"https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/compensate\">dictionary<\/a> definition of the word (which is: &#8220;To provide something good or useful in place of something or to make someone feel better about something that has failed or been lost or missed&#8221;), and it is not how some other authors define it either <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-IMJN2WCP--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:IMJN2WCP}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the interests of clarity, this textbook throws its lot in with the dictionary: buying a train ticket to see your friend who you miss painfully is not compensating for your problem, it is removing your problem. Going for a long hard run when you feel the pain of missing your friend, then eating a tub of ice cream afterwards, is very definitely compensation &#8211; the problem is still there, but you hopefully aren&#8217;t feeling quite so bad about it in the immediate present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And yes, it is annoying when scholars in a field pick different meanings for the same word. But absent the ability to round them all into the same room, and shout at them until they agree#up we will just have to do our best.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"brxe-div footnote_anchor\"><div class=\"brxe-div footnote_shifter\">\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\">#down. Which might not solve the problem either, but would maybe make us feel a little better?<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Option 5: Fluid compensation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The last strategy they suggest falls somewhere in between the other options. It involves compensating by reminding yourself of some other different part of your self-concept that you like, as this can help make you feel better about yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, if you think of yourself as good at CB, but do poorly on a CB test, then you may feel bad about yourself: CB is important enough to you that you monitor to see how well you are doing, and you are apparently doing badly! Direct coping would involve studying harder for the next CB test. Fluid compensation might involve finding something else that is important to you such as your friendships, or your athleticism, and trying to &#8216;affirm&#8217; those instead by spending quality time with your friends, or going out and playing some tennis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is called &#8220;fluid&#8221; compensation because it is not rigid. If part A of your identity is threatened, you can recover by reminding yourself of parts B or C or D that are also good. &#8216;Affirming&#8217; them helps you to feel better <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-QIY7UYCE--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:QIY7UYCE}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span>, and recover your overall sense that you do make some kind of sense and have meaning as a person <span class=\"zp-InText-zp-ID--4193465-VUJEI3NQ--wp2198 zp-InText-Citation loading\" rel=\"{ 'pages': 'np', 'items': '{4193465:VUJEI3NQ}', 'format': '(%a%, %d%, %p%)', 'brackets': '', 'etal': '', 'separator': '', 'and': '' }\"><\/span> &#8211; maybe not everything is going well for you right now, but there is plenty that is, so all is not lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The coping theory that we referenced earlier doesn&#8217;t have a direct analogue to this, but it does have a  category for &#8220;expressive support seeking&#8221;, which may have a similar function (i.e., talking to others in ways that get them to help, which might perhaps also restore some sense of meaning to yourself). So, again, this is somewhat reassuring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Which of these strategies will people choose?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is what our American friends might call the million-dollar question. Which indeed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unfortunately, we aren&#8217;t aware of any research that finds clear and simple rules for this, but that may well be because there aren&#8217;t any. The truth is that people likely muddle their way through their troubles with a mix of habit, skillfulness, adaption to circumstances, and perhaps with an element of &#8220;necessity being the mother of invention&#8221; (i.e., we sometimes find new ways to do things when we absolutely have to do so). One of the things we learn as humans is that disappointment does happen, and we need to learn to find constructive and appropriate ways to manage our reactions to this (and sometimes that really is just to lick our wounds, feel sad, and take time to recover)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While direct compensation is probably the best approach in a vacuum (hey, just solve all your problems!), real lives do not unfold in vacuums. Not all problems can be solved, nor should all of them be. Sometimes people have to go away, sometimes there are things that we cannot do to a level that we want, despite our best efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Part of the therapy for people with body dysmorphic disorder (who obsess painfully about some aspect of their appearance for more than an hour a day, out of all proportion with reality) is to help them find other things they like about themselves to focus on. The problem can&#8217;t be solved directly (even plastic surgery rarely works &#8211; they just keep obsessing about how it wasn&#8217;t done right), so therapists actually guide them towards fluid compensation, as one small component of their recovery (it actually has a good prognosis with suitable treatment).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Textbooks generally aren&#8217;t in the business of offering life advice, but if we were to do so, perhaps the best that can be offered is some variation on the serenity prayer (generally <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Serenity_Prayer\">credited to Reinhold Niebuhr<\/a>): &#8220;grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change \/ the courage to change the things I can \/ and the wisdom to know the difference&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If the work on fluid compensation has one thing to offer, though, it&#8217;s probably this:  Don&#8217;t make your self-esteem contingent on only one thing. Whatever that thing is, the day will eventually arrive in which that thing will let you down, or put you under real pressure. When that happens, what do you have to fall back on? So whatever is most important to you, be it a hobby, career, friendship, or other, that&#8217;s fine, let it be important &#8211; but make sure to do other things too: Socialize, be in nature, do things you enjoy, dabble a little. Monocultures are prone to failure, it&#8217;s wise to diversify yourselves at least a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">So that is one take on coping and compensation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s a reasonably coherent one too, with its narrow focus on the different kinds of core benefits we might seek from a single act of consumption. That&#8217;s a useful thing to know, but it isn&#8217;t the whole story. We will return to the idea of compensatory consumption in our emotions chapter, where we will add in some other (often longer-term) compensatory consumption strategies that people also seem to use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes, it&#8217;s a little complicated to have topics like this that span across different areas. But it&#8217;s not our fault. That&#8217;s just how humans are built.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And, heck, it&#8217;s nice for you to have something to look forward to :) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Review<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">{pods_post_review}<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<div id='zp-InTextBib-zotpress-f0658800eed72bdc31389ed845a2bcbd' class='zp-Zotpress zp-Zotpress-InTextBib wp-block-group zp-Post-2198'>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_ITEM_KEY ZP_ATTR\">{4193465:NEYDGMNG},{4193465:XHPMG2TJ};{4193465:K2GV6HKR};{4193465:ANE8PX9Y},{4193465:DDCYHML4};{4193465:U9YG3HUL};{4193465:ARYHUQKX};{4193465:TWX6DWD3};{4193465:BGUK2YPM},{4193465:CII7RZ73};{4193465:SSXQZXRN};{4193465:E3QG77CD};{4193465:ZXEBDALY};{4193465:RDJFWU2F};{4193465:64NIU9FI};{4193465:RDJFWU2F};{4193465:IMJN2WCP};{4193465:QIY7UYCE};{4193465:VUJEI3NQ}<\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_STYLE ZP_ATTR\">apa<\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_SORTBY ZP_ATTR\">creator<\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_ORDER ZP_ATTR\">asc<\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_TITLE ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_SHOWIMAGE ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_SHOWTAGS ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_DOWNLOADABLE ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_NOTES ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_ABSTRACT ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_CITEABLE ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_TARGET ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_URLWRAP ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_FORCENUM ZP_ATTR\">0<\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_HIGHLIGHT ZP_ATTR\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t<span class=\"ZP_POSTID ZP_ATTR\">2198<\/span><div class='zp-List loading'>\n<div class=\"zp-SEO-Content\"><\/div><!-- .zp-zp-SEO-Content -->\n<\/div><!-- .zp-List --><\/div><!--.zp-Zotpress-->\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Image credit) This principle is not a complicated one. It says that threats to our sense of self tend to cause strong emotional reactions and a motivation to address the threat &#8211; either by solving it, or by compensating (finding other ways to prop up our sense of self). This observation (like many in social [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2409,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"chapter":[14],"exclude_from_index":[16],"class_list":["post-2198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","chapter-4-self","exclude_from_index-include"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2198"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3744,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2198\/revisions\/3744"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2198"},{"taxonomy":"chapter","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/chapter?post=2198"},{"taxonomy":"exclude_from_index","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/exclude_from_index?post=2198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}