{"id":2158,"date":"2023-09-28T00:12:01","date_gmt":"2023-09-28T00:12:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/?p=2158"},"modified":"2023-12-06T14:15:20","modified_gmt":"2023-12-06T14:15:20","slug":"self-expansion-theory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminated-text.com\/cb\/self-expansion-theory\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Expansion Theory"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(Photo credit<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A word of introduction:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This theory is much newer than the self-symbolic one, and is far less well-known. If you (and\/or your instructor) want, you can probably skip it. That said, here are 3 reasons to keep reading:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. It helps explain a few things better than the other theory does<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. It gets deeper into the psychology of how it all works<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. It’s honestly a lot of fun.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Why is it so much fun? It’s an extension of theories on how humans get attached to each other; so the fastest way to learn it is by talking about dating, breakups, and all that good stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If you don’t <\/strong>like that kind of thing, then consider yourself warned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So. Remember our example of a student getting their first job?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    Just imagine being that former student. It’s Monday morning, you get up early, put on your previously little-used suit, get it adjusted, and look at yourself in the mirror. Long and hard. Deep breath. How does it feel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Extra scary? Extra exciting? Both mixed together?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Probably. Excitement is your brain’s way of gearing you up to do things that are new but potentially rewarding, and scared is how your brain tells you to be careful when it thinks things could go badly wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But why do you get an extra jolt of those emotions from looking in the mirror at your new-ish suit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Huh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Let’s talk about some other things, and see if we have found any better answers in a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Self-Expansion Theory<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    This started as a theory about humans having close relationships with each other, such as when they are dating. We are going to start off talking about it that way – as people dating – because it’s more fun<\/s> a good way to come to understand the theory. We’ll get to the consumer version soon enough (we promise), so stick with us here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Self-Expansion Theory has two main premises:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    1. We merge close others into our self-concept, absorbing their abilities, resources, and perspectives as our own<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. We are motivated to expand ourselves this way, by absorbing others.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      You probably don’t need much convincing on the second part of that: we humans spend a lot of time and energy and money trying to meet each other, spend time with each other, and even get married to each other (hitched.co.uk surveyed their readers and found an average spend of nearly \u00a320,000<\/a> on a wedding – that’s around 25,000 American dollars). We’ve invented entire ecosystems of apps for the exact purpose of meeting (and occasionally ghosting) each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      The first part is a little more cryptic though. Do we “merge close others in”? What does that even mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      It actually might not be as counter-intuitive as you think: Pick someone who is close to you – perhaps a parent or caregiver, perhaps a best friend, perhaps a romantic partner (heck, you can do this for all of them). Which of the following pairs of circles best represents you and this other person:<\/p>\n\n\n

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      \"A
      This measure is called “Inclusion of Other in Self”, or “IOS” <\/span>. There is no truth to the rumour that Apple named their mobile operating system after it#up<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n
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      #down. We know this for sure because it we invented the rumour<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n
      So, number one? Two maybe? People actually tend to give numbers like 5 or 6 for their closest relationships#up. They seem to find this question pretty easy to answer, too, and feel it’s a good description of how they really are with this other person.<\/p>\n\n\n
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      #down. If you feel single and bitter you are permitted to gag at the nauseatingly smug couples saying \"ooh, we're so much the same person!\"<\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n
      So it fits in an intuitive way, but there are plenty of intuitions about people that seem reasonable but that just are not true. For instance, it seems intuitively obvious that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n